Four Love Confessions Jackie Never Heard
by j. alfred prufrock
Summary: Or, four times Steven Hyde almost told Jackie Burkhart that he loved her and the one time he did. Hyde/Jackie, rated for language.


**A/N:** Thanks so much to my wonderful reviewers for "doll parts!" Here's another, longer Hyde and Jackie fic. Please review; they make my day. Also, if you can find the shout-outs to the _Twilight_ cast, you rock. :P

**Disclaimer: **Everything belongs to its respectful owner.

**Spoilers:** Nothing specific except "Going to California," "Black Dog" and "You Shook Me," although it spans throughout season 5 with passing references to a few episodes.

**i.**

When Jackie Burkhart wears that purple dress, Steven Hyde instantly feels three things.

The first is the urge to tell her to put on a damn sweater, because she's showing too much of her perfect shoulders and smooth, creamy skin for him to handle. It's fine when they're in private, but with Fez and Forman hanging around them totally oblivious, he thinks it would be completely indecent if he just leaned over and kissed one of her delicate shoulders and sucked on the skin there. What's worse is that she _knows_ how hot she is, so she plays it to her advantage. The next time they're alone, he's going to tell her how ugly she is. Hopefully, she'll start wearing burlap sacks or, better, _flannel_.

The second thing Hyde feels is the urge to rip the dress off. Forman and Fez and, possibly, Red and Mrs. Forman, be damned, he feels like he could have Jackie pinned to the ground in an instant, totally naked and screaming his name. The image is entertaining and damn hot, but then he feels his pants tighten in the front and, _shit_, he's turning into _Fez_.

Pretty soon, he'll have to excuse himself to take care of his "needs" whenever Jackie's in the room, or in the house, or on the same street. And that's really often, too, and God knows he doesn't want to always have to miss out on circle time just because Jackie Burkhart is wearing a nice dress.

Then Jackie kisses him and says, "You know, Steven that was really nice of you to get Eric that ticket." And she smiles her beautiful Jackie-smile with her wide, mismatched eyes and he's not going to be like Forman and spill his guts out because it's _Jackie_ and he should _hate_ her and he's never felt like this before and, pride be damned, it's scary.

So, instead, he says, "You know, this usually works better when you don't talk," because he's not going to risk telling Jackie how he really feels because that's not how it works.

**ii.**

Jackie giggles and grabs Hyde's glasses off his face before putting them on. It's taken him awhile to appreciate that she can be bubbly and pretty and giggly without weed and he won't admit that he thinks that it's kind of sexy that she can be so carefree without a joint.

"I think I look better in them," she declares, taking a sip of her soda. "Of course, I'd look better in anything, so." She smiles and Hyde can't help but return it. Here, on Mount Hump, sitting on the hood of the Camino with a frothy purple scarf tied around her head (_a la_ Audrey Hepburn, she'd said) wearing his sunglasses, she's hands-down the sexiest girl he's ever seen.

"Jackie, you look like you're trying out a 'white-trash-with-cash' look," he deadpans.

Jackie gasps. "Oh, you take that back _right_ _now_." Her voice is playful and she giggles.

Hyde raises one amused eyebrow. "Make me."

There's a quiet pause and then, "Fine." And she delivers a swift kick to his shins before taking off running.

"Damn, woman!" Hyde shouts after her, surprised at how such a small thing could have such a strong kick. It felt like a damn mule's kick, and he finds that oddly sexy. She might not be as strong as Donna, but she's tough in her own way. He watches her run down the hill a little and then she completely disappears from view.

"St_ee_ven!" Her piercing wail makes his heart jump into his throat as he wonders what happened. Could she have fallen off a cliff? Were there bears in the area?

As he tears through the brambles, he sees her collapsed on the ground, holding her ankle and swearing blue and green. "Jackie, what the hell did you do?"

"I twisted my ankle," she says, looking up at him wearing her pout. "Carry me home and then take me to the hospital."

"Jackie, if you think a hospital is necessary, you're out of your mind."

"St_ee_ven!" she whines again, pouting. "Please?"

A moment and then he cracks. "Okay. I'll take you home, get you an icepack and hand you over to Mrs. Forman."

"Will you carry me?" Jackie asks, lower lip jutting out.

He sighs. "Whatever." Scooping her up in his arms, he realizes how light she is, how nice her black hair smells, how soft her skin is and he'd be fine spending the rest of his life with her.

She buries her face in his neck and whines pathetically. "It _hurts_, Steven."

Instead of telling her that it can't be more painful than some of the shit he's dealt with (he's _never_ going to wrestle with Donna again), he just carries her to the Camino and lays her down in the backseat and takes her delicate foot in his lap, rubbing it a little. "I know, baby. I'm sure it does. Just hang in there, okay? I'll take you to Mrs. Forman and she'll get you taken care of."

Jackie smiles and says, "My hero."

"Yeah, well, I'm only doing this because I – " Hyde stops dead and looks at her. "Because I don't want your dad suing me for letting his little girl get eaten by bears."

"Oh, Steven, Daddy would _never_ sue you. You aren't important enough," Jackie informs him with a beautiful, bright smile.

"That's a relief," Hyde mutters as he rubs his thumb over her swollen ankle.

**iii.**

Jackie liked to tell him how disgusting his beard was. He figured it was one of her favorite hobbies after cheerleading, gossiping, shopping and mocking Forman.

"You're going to turn into the dirty, old hippie," she declared one day, lying in his bed. Hyde had mentally taken several pictures and tucked them into the deepest recesses of his brain, because it was Jackie lounging around on his bed with his Spider Man pillow case with her hair in a messy knot wearing her pink panties and nothing else.

"His name is _Leo_, Jackie, for the hundredth time," he sighed. "And he's cool, man; don't talk about him like that."

"He's _dirty_ and he's _old_ and he's a _hippie_. I was talking to him once and he found some burger in his beard and told me that he hadn't had burgers since three weeks before that!"

He raised one eyebrow at her. "Someday, I'll be dirty and old and a hippie, so get used to it, doll."

"By that time, I'll be famous and on TV, so I won't have to see your beard," Jackie bit back and Hyde pretended that he didn't want to see a future without her. He couldn't, actually, because Jackie was always in his future plans.

That was three weeks ago, and today, Jack Burkhart went to jail for bribery and, once again, Hyde fucked up when it came to dealing with Jackie.

Sometimes he figured his life would be easier without her and her tears and emotions and beauty, but he doesn't want to see a life where she wasn't a key player. He makes a lame joke about baking a cake with some documents in it and she storms off and, shit, he's scared that she'll run to Kelso.

Although Hyde prides himself on being braver than Fez and Forman combined, he's scared shitless of telling Jackie that he loves her and, no matter what happens to her dad, he'll always be there for her. It sounds like something on a greeting card and not something Steven J. Hyde would say.

He leans over the small sink and splashes some cold water on his face before standing upright, staring at his reflection and his beard. He can shave his beard, but he can't tell Jackie how much he loves her. That's pretty fucked up, he decides, but that's okay, because he figures Jackie of all people would appreciate the gesture. It would show how much he cared and actions speak louder than words, anyway.

She loves it, of course, and her small, delicate hands feel nice on his freshly-shaven face. As she leads him into his bedroom and kisses him all over, he almost blurts out those three small words, but he decides to wait for the perfect moment.

**iv.**

When Forman and Donna ask Hyde why he goes to the basketball games, he lies and says that he just loves seeing Jimmy Payne fall on his ass. In reality, he goes because Jackie looks hotter than usual in her cheerleading uniform. He just wishes the routines demanded more high kicks and, possibly, Jackie taking off her top.

But he's not picky and halftime is his favorite, when Jackie comes out with her black hair up and her face flushed from bouncing around and yelling.

"She's something, isn't she?" he asks the man sitting next to him.

"Oh, yes, she is. My Rose has grown up so fast!"

Hyde gives the man a dumbfounded look. "No, man, I'm talking about Jackie Burkhart. The one with black hair and who's best at the high kicks. She really is the best, you know. No offense, but Rose isn't very good at high kicks." A pause. "Jackie's hot." He grins and nods.

The man coughs and wipes his glasses on his shirt and turns a little so he's not looking at Hyde anymore.

"Steven! You came!" Jackie squeals after the game. She throws her arms around his neck and kisses him hard on the lips.

"Anything for you, doll," Hyde says with a smile, kissing her forehead. "You looked great out there."

Jackie smiles flirtatiously and Hyde's stomach does flip-flops. "I always look great, Steven. You of all people should know that." Tossing her hair, she laughs. "I did kick some ass out there, though, right? Rose Pattinson and Juliet Stewart think they're going to get Head Cheerleader next year, but they're so, so wrong because I am."

"Of course you are, doll." Hyde presses another kiss to her forehead and pulls her in tight for a hug. She smells like lavender and sandalwood and he's pretty sure he smells like grease from fixing up the Corolla with Red and the stash he has in his pocket especially for her. "Come on; let's get you a burger."

"But Steven, I can't get fat," Jackie reminds him with a pout. "I need to watch my figure."

"Jackie, if you get so skinny that you give Audrey Hepburn a run for her money, I won't touch you again. Not only is it unhealthy, worse, it's unattractive. Now, come on. I'll pay for it. And I'll eat your fries so you don't feel like you need to."

They light up in the Camino and Jackie snuggles against his shoulder as he drives. "This is so nice, Steven," she sighs, taking a drag off the joint. "I like it when it's just the two of us."

As they wait in line at the drive-thru, Hyde puts his arm around her shoulders. "Me too, doll," he murmurs, kissing her hair. He rests his head on top of hers, wondering if this was the right time to tell her that he loved her. Instead, he says, "You should keep that cheerleading uniform. It might come in handy in our later years."

"Later years?" Jackie echoes and Hyde mentally punches himself.

Instead, he's Zen and says, "Yeah. In, you know, a few months when our sex life gets boring, you can just put that on. Or borrow Donna's schoolgirl uniform and prance around in that. And then Fez can photograph you in that and we can show our grandkids and – "

"_Grandkids_?" Jackie peers up at him with large, slightly glazed-over eyes. "Steven, what are you _talking_ about?"

"N- nothing." Hyde decides to just be quiet for now before she gets any ideas about marriage and babies and a Golden Retriever. "You looked beautiful tonight, doll," he whispers after a moment.

Jackie smiles up at him. "Thank you."

**v. **

_(and one time, he did)_

This is, by far, the stupidest thing Steven Hyde has done in his entire life.

Stupider than falling in love with Jackie, stupider than spending years of being a total dillhole to her to cover up that he loved her, stupider than going to jail for her, stupider than not trusting her, and stupider than ever being scared that she would run back to Kelso.

This is stupider because he's fucked up the best thing that's ever happened to him and he can't undo that because instead of just asking Jackie what was going on, he went and fucked a nurse.

He's never seen a girl look so heartbroken and it hurts because it's _Jackie_ and he _loves her_ and this is _his_ fault.

She doesn't even cry when she looks at him, but he can see the hurt reflected in her big mismatched eyes and he doesn't even want to know how deep this wound runs. She already has some from Kelso (and he makes a mental note to kick Kelso's ass later for hurting her) and he can't believe that he ruined the best thing in his life.

He contemplates buying her roses and chocolates and a fucking unicorn if it'll make her happy. He doesn't even want forgiveness at this point; he just wants her to know how much he loves her.

He comes to her contrite and ready to spill everything in his heart.

The look in his eyes makes him recoil a little – he's seen Jackie mad, but he's never seen Jackie both mad and hurt and that scares him. It scares him that he's caused so much damage to his small, beautiful girl (not his anymore, he reminds himself) and he looks her in the eye.

He tells her that he loves her.

He doesn't expect her to forgive him, but he needed to say it.

He needed to let her know.

_**end**_


End file.
